Volume or shape?

E (to her surprise from all the dance she does): Hey I have a six-pack!

Daddy: I do too.

E: No you don't.

Daddy: Yes I do. My six-pack is all poured inio one jug.

Ch-ch-ch-tremendous!

Evangelina's tongue twister from the car ride yesterday:
"Chinese champion chimpanzees choose to charming chipmunks to try some triple cheese chicken chimichangas"

(I was especially tickled at her discovery that the alliterative sounds inherent to tongue twisters do not necessarily have to use the same letters, eg: there's a "ch" sound in the words "try" and "triple"!)

Just how old do you think we are?

12-year-old E and I were talking about languages in the car this afternoon when I was telling her about a funny time in my childhood when my sister Ruthie and I translated some lines from a new Batman movie (which were totally cut-and-dried in English) into Taiwanese, which somehow made the lines supremely hilarious to us:

—
Small-time villain, suddenly subdued by Batman in the shadows of the night: Who are you?
Batman: I'm Batman.
—

E had my phone with her in the back seat, so she looked up the scene on YouTube, which I heard but could not see while I was driving.

Not totally sure myself, I asked, "Is that from the Batman movie from the 1990's?"

E answered, "I don't think so… it was in color."

Your timing really stinks!

Evangelina came over to me to ask for help with a math problem that involved calculations from three different instances of time, then sat on my lap to explain her conundrum and promptly farted on me.

"Is that my present?" I asked.

Without delay she replied, "No, that was your past."

7/1: a simple ASSk

E: Mom when you were going through puberty did your hips go "Foom!"?
M: yes
E: I just wanted to know what to expect.

Muscle-amplifying LOvE

Either my daughter is blind, or she loves me. I like to think the latter. Today I wore a sleeveless "muscle" shirt that was given to me by Uncle and Auntie from New Zealand. Evangelina said, "You look good in that shirt, to which she added later a la Crossroads' Father's Day celebration, "I have a rad dad."

Self-talk

Jadon and I were silently wondering whom Evangelina was talking to until she got to the end: "Stop having a pointy butt Mina!" I think she was referring to the Taiwanese expression Mommy often heard growing up in reference to Auntie JE… also at the piano.

Ode an Unterwäsche

Me no study, me no try

Me go marry underwear

When he tear, me no care

Me go find another pain

Right on the Nosezzzzzzzzzz…..

I was finishing up work on the computer in the car when I realized I have about 30 minutes before Evangelina needed to be picked up. Here's the conversation we had when she got in the car:

D: I had planned to take a nap for 10 minutes, then go running for 15 minutes around the parking lot, but do you know what I did?
E: you took a nap for 25 minutes

Tearful Terrain

Lately Evangelina's been studying the rock cycle in science class.  She turned to me and asked, "Wait, the Grand Canyon is sentimental rock, right?"

Rebel Racing #RebelRacingRides

Your piano playing is da’ BOMB!

Recently when repeatedly encouraged to play her piano piece with "terraced" dynamics, she confessed, "I used to think you were telling me to play it 'terrorist.'

The bloody truth

"I hate biting insects. They suck… quite literally!"

Flat-u-LATE

We'd arrived just in time for Evangelina's advanced math class, but she was taking what appeared to me her own sweet time getting out of the car.

"Hurry! Hurry! Ya gotta get to class!"

"Hold on. I don't want to fart in there…" As we notice the smell, "…I think I have another one."

Hair-brained thinking

While trying to furiously cram two levels of material for her Certificate of Merit theory test tomorrow, Evangelina noted that one of her hairs had fallen onto the book before her and wondered aloud, "I wonder how I would look if I only had one hair."

Dissing Discount?

"Mom, why does this coupon say 20% off gift cards? That's mean!" She thought the value you had on a gift card would be brought down 20%…